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June 13, 2004
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The diary of I M Hormonal



So yeah like i kinda fell out of bed this morning (it's a REALLY thin bed) kinda yeah.  And like, i wasn't in a good mood (i did fall out of bed) y'see.  It kinda all began like.... y'know (getting to the point quickly here), last night where i like... well my girlfriend (well we weren't really going out per say...) is such a whore (not that i'd know of course)...i mean she's my ex now y'know (see previous).

But she sleeps around like (and i found out last night.  Tore my heart in two (well not really but it felt like that once the hormones kicked in... except not as painful)) and like, threw it onto the ground (she didn't really do this either but it makes me feel inntelygant) and (i felt really sad) i cried myself to sleep (but i did wake up in the middle of a night for a poopie).  She says the rabbit made her feel happier than me (rabbits are sexy i'l give you that), like, i must be sooo pathetic (like... i cannot compare to a rabbit (damn rabbits)).  Why am i breathing? (i'll tell you after biology).

But yeah like so *abuse of fillers*.  Even before that my day was (less than amusing) abysmal and lamentacious (wow check my sophistimacated vocabulary [thankyouthesaurusiluffj00]).  That was like yeah cos my step dad (well he's more of a stepstepstepstepdad) came home drunk (actually he was high from sniffing marmalade) and he's a violent man (you should see how wound up he gets playing pac-man) he beat me (actually he sent me to bed without supper) down into the ground (sorry korn i love jonathon davies).  So i escaped out the window (front door in common lingo) but only after taking some webcam pictures (i so seksi) and molesting deviantarts gratuitous (vocabulary again) free space offer (i <3 DA 4ever) so people tell me i iz hawt (y'know it).  

and then i saw my girlfriend (well we weren't together yet) but she was with the white rabbit (damn that rabbit) and he is hawter than me (damn him again) and i felt so jealous (who wouldn't be against such a hawt rabbit?) and then she told me that she was with (in the real way) the white rabbit (damn that rabbit) and then my life felt like nothing (well actually it felt like the chemicals inside of me were producing a rather undesirable effect).

So i ran and i ran and i ran (and i ran and i ran and i ran and i ran and i ran repeat as necessary) and i cried my crystal tears (technically tears have salt in them so yeah like, salt is crystally yeah? wish i studied in chemistry now) and i felt like a lost soul (a big mac in burger king) wandering the empty endless (4meters squared) space of the unknown (my bathroom... well it is kinda unknown since i don't shower often).  

and i made friends (i <3 inanimate objects) with that blade (it's called a razor damn you) and i pushed it into my innocent (i did this the day before too, embellishment is a terrible thing) flesh (they say that a lot in the bible) to set free (i can see why they'd want to escape me) all the lies and misery (i rhymed i rhymed i rhymed i am SO COOL).  i caressed the wound (with my tongue, blood is tasty) and remembered all the times (all four of them) where i'd been hurt so bad.  and i took a picture (this is art) to show to the world (although i don't think they wanna share) my pitiful state (we'll i'l give you that much)

then the drugs kicked in (</i>the spot medicine is working!! hurrah!!!</i>) and i saw the light (we have this weird globe shaped fixture in our bathroom, really quite decorative and i never appreciated it until just then).  And i could almost (i emphasise that word) feel kurt cobain whispering (cos he's so da man) "i hate myself and i want to die" and then i knew (getting think and know mixed up again, sorry) that i was to live by this (technically that's a juxtaposition because if you want to die and to live by this... dude....).

and i was so scared (pissing myself here) of sleeping (the horror... THE HORROR!!!!) and dreaming my nightmares of tomorrow (a real clairevoyant in the making here)

and it's my birthday today (it was last week too) and i'm 14 now (i'm so hawt) and because i'm older (and smellier) than my school friends (we'll say associates) i don't think (KNOW) if they'll accept me (they didn't yesterday anyway) because i'm an individual (a true pioneer of my generation) see?  the pain (we'll call it lack of testicular fortitude) hurts (this is my hypochondriac personality kicking in) so bad of thinking (it hurts so bad).  it's time to bottle it up (like white wine) inside (wine cellar) and hide the bruises (i fell out of bed) and the scars (.... i fell out of bed) of my life (i fall out of bed a lot) because it's another (omg not again) day of my disaster-life (hyphen hyphen hyphen).

So yeah (gain) i wanna kill the white rabbit (damn that rabbit) cos it was he who did this to me (indirectly and not at all) he made me who i am (no not my parents, they never created me).  i'm going to listen (endure) to some the rasmus now (hardcore!!!) to remind me of the hate i feel (hate feels squidgy) inside (damn that rabbit).

thanks diary you're my only comfort in this terrible world of evil (I'M TALKING TO AN INANIMATE OBJECT HELP ME PLEASE PUNCTUATION NO LONGER EXISTS ARGH MY EYES MY BEAUTIFUL EYES).

yours forever and in several pieces


I.M.Hormonal
I'm bored, so i wrote this in about 30mins, just a lil piss-take of the angsty teen culture :)

Thanks to my wonderful younger brother for being the model in the picture, you know it's worth it.


Disclaimer - this is all in good humour, it is not in any way meant to be offensive to any particular person.
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